All of us have heard (and some of us believe) that love will always find a way. After running an astrological matchmaking service since 1990, I'm amazed that people ever find each other at all. Since I began practicing astrology in 1980, readings for couples have been my favorite. I was able to describe the dynamics of any relationship in great detail, and both partners invariably benefited from the reading and found it to be quite accurate.
Armed with a smug confidence in the use of astrology for relationship analysis, I began a dating service, believing it would be a breeze to connect strangers whose charts were compatible. It sounds simple in theory, but in practice I found that astrology was the least of my problems in matchmaking; the major difficulties are brought about by human nature. I quickly found that everyone has their own subjective screening process, and even the best astrological match will not, for example, convince some women to date a man an inch shorter than them, or convince some men to consider a woman their own age.
When searching for matches, I examine all of the synastry contacts between two charts by comparing the planets in one chart with those in another. I especially look for close conjunctions (planets in the same sign near the same degree), sextiles (planets two signs apart) or trines (planets four signs apart). It's best if these aspects occur between one person's Sun and the other's Moon (a good yin-yang combination), and one person's Venus and the other's Mars (evidence of sexual compatibility). I also look for positive contacts to each person's Ascendant (indicating both physical attraction and similar lifestyles). Another important ingredient is harmonious Mercury contacts, especially Mercury-Mercury, Mercury-Sun or Mercury-Moon, for these ensure good communication.
This may sound like a simple formula, but there are major drawbacks to applying it. Textbook descriptions of synastry aspects only hold true to the extent that the charts being compared are perfectly healthy, and so far I've seen none which can make that claim. Therefore, a person with a heavily afflicted Moon, for example, will not respond well to anyone whose Sun conjuncts their Moon, no matter how many profiles I send them. Such a person's key to romantic success lies in working out their own personal issues relating to that afflicted Moon. Since this type of self-improvement is available to anyone who makes the free-will choice to change their attitude (no matter what their natal chart says), I cannot tell from their chart alone whether they've already done so in this lifetime.
For instance, I once made a match between Jerry and Tina which seemed to be made in Heaven. Both partners' Suns closely trined the other's Moon, and their Suns and Moons sextiled each other. Jerry's Venus formed a sextile to Tina's Mars, and they had many other harmonious aspects, including wonderful Mercury contacts. Jerry and Tina met and liked each other, but then Jerry stood Tina up on their second date.
Jerry later explained to me that Tina did not exactly fit the physical picture of his true love as he imagined her, so he terminated the relationship. Knowing that Tina was not unattractive (and Jerry was no hunk), I examined Jerry's chart and found that he had a tendency to insist that his partner be extremely attractive, even though he wasn't. Jerry later confided that his interaction with Tina had brought this unconscious tendency to the surface, and he realized that he needed to work on it. But he was too embarassed to see Tina again and so missed the opportunity to explore what could have been a very satisfying relationship.
In another example, I attempted to match Larry and Susan, who shared Sun conjunct Moon, Venus trine Mars, and some wonderful Mercury contacts. After examining the combination, Larry, an astrology enthusiast, was very excited to meet Susan. Although there was mutual attraction and interest, it did not ast, and both people had nothing but criticism about the other. In reviewing Larry's chart, I found he had a tendency to be controlling and to disregard Susan's feelings. And Susan's chart revealed that she was particularly defensive about power plays. Even with a multitude of harmonious contacts, this match was never able to get off the ground.
Since virtually all comparisons contain some harsh aspects, it is unrealistic to expect total harmony and bliss in any relationship. In fact, relationships which are overly harmonious are often boring, since neither partner challenges the other to learn and grow. Yet I have found certain contacts which appear more frequently in harmonious relationships.
Other aspects which seem to pull people together, even with many other harsh aspects, include: Sun sextile or trine Sun (for harmony of purpose); Moon conjunct, sextile or trine Moon (for a deeply intuitive emotional bond); and Moon conjunct, sextile or trine Mercury (for communicating your feelings). These alone do not guarantee that the relationship will work, but I am always encouraged to give it a try when I see one or more in a comparison. Contacts between one partner's Sun, Moon or Venus and the other's Jupiter are just as common between friends as they are between lovers. Positive Moon/Moon contacts are more likely to smooth over rough spots in a relationship than Sun/Moon or Venus/Mars contacts.
Oppositions (planets six signs apart) are definite points of attraction. But the combination can quickly become irritating and annoying. The real question is whether both partners can allow the other to be their opposite in many ways, and perhaps even learn from their differences.
I believe Saturn is often misunderstood in comparisons. If someone's Saturn aspects your planets, it may indicate that the relationship will bring increased responsibility and obligation, but it also brings security and dependability. Saturn contacts (even harsh ones) are very common between marriage partners and other long-term partnerships.
Since I have seen members reject a person's profile only to meet them in person at my next party and fall in love, I encourage my members to remain open when meeting others. I can only imagine how many more successful matches could be made if everyone didn't already have a fixed picture in their minds as to what their perfect love looks (or sounds) like. The more people can relax their own rigid screening processes, the more likely they are to be pleasantly surprised. Also, if they can criticize others less and pay more attention to working the kinks out of their own charts, they'll be much more likely to recognize Ms. or Mr. Right when they do come along.
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